Summary: I want to move to Mexico & I'll be parting with most of my possessions, would love for them to go to you
To: Friends & Family
From: Rob
| I'm nervous to send this. I feel like it's too long. I feel like no one might understand why I do things online instead of text or call. I'm comfortable online. It's hard for me to feel well enough to have a conversation. When I am up I focus on food, medication, some cleaning, creativity. This page feels negative so I'm making another one that's just DREAMS. I'm not expecting anything from you, but I'm letting myself dream & you're in them. |
|---|
Problems Solutions
I have problems, but I want to talk about solutions. Thing is, solutions must fit the problems.
Problem One is that I feel bad most of the time and that limits my actions every moment of every day.
There may be solutions to this problem, that I'll get into later. For now I think it's important to consider that this impediment has existed for years and I do not expect it to improve quickly or easily. I think this problem will persist through all the possible solutions below. This problem is the reason I'm writing this once instead of contacting you individually. It's true that I've always enjoyed sharing emotions online; but in this circumstance I simply do not have the energy for multiple conversations. Somehow this seemed easier. Yeah I'm putting detailed personal information online, but I think it's sufficiently off the radar (and all the worst people have all my personal info anyway).
Problem: The loan against where I live is up this fall.
Solution: Pay $135k. This solution would be to remove the pressure of the bank's deadline so that the condo could be cleared of possessions with care. I don't have this amount of money & I do not want to try to refinance. One purpose of this page is to list all possible options, including dreams. I have my opinions as to what is most likely to happen, but I want to include other scenarios.
Solution: Move by October. I think this is doable. Like everything else, difficult but doable. My desire is to no longer live in the United States. Depending on how much I get for the condo I may have enough $ to meet the retirement residency requirement in Mexico. Regardless it is possible to visit Mexico for up to 6 months at a time as a tourist. I expect I would be coming back to the U.S. frequently for several years. I have a standing offer to stay in Maine for months at a time & I hope that others may welcome me for extended visits sometimes. What I'm saying is that I do not want to make a new permanent home in the U.S. (though I will probably want to maintain a U.S. mailing address somewhere & I may hope to park my phone number within someone else's family plan).
Problem: My condo and a storage unit are full of paintings, family antiques & personal items — All solutions must keep in mind Problem One above
Solution: I drive away with a carfull of what I want most & contract others to strip the condo. I've lived with the mementos from a family that's lived well over 100 years in Jacksonville; I am ready to let it all go. If I have to I'm ready to let my paintings go. My preference would be for friends and family to have anything that they would like, leading to the next.
Solution: Friends and family drop by in May & June to take anything that they want. Even though this is my preference I acknowledge that people already have their own things & may not be able to take the time to come here and get anything.
That's about all I have to say. That's really the reason I am writing this. I would like to be in regular contact with you, but my energy is very low.
I don't expect miracles in Mexico, but I will say this:
- medical care is much cheaper (everything is)
- the medication that helps me most is over the counter & much less expensive in Mexico
- I believe that my pain is due in part to my years of a sedentary American lifestyle, desk sitting & car driving — There may be other causes but MRIs have not revealed anything helpful to the doctors I've seen. I have had multiple offers to pay for medical care. Here's the problem with that:
My current abilities / energy level are such that I can barely think and make decisions, and I'm only motivated and functioning for a half hour or so here & there. Selecting a new doctor, initiating any new treatment is beyond me. And it seems like it would be the beginning of a multi-month or multi-year process & that is definitely beyond my current capacity. I have a hard financial deadline for moving out of my current home that is fast approaching. I feel like that is where my limited focus must be. I know in theory that medical treatment should help increase my functioning — but that just has not been my experience ever. Every medical relationship I've ever attempted has been long, complicated, expensive, disappointing, psychologically draining. What I think for now is that I need to receive some minimum maintenance medical care (a prescription I know works ok, in the dosage I require) while I work to start a new phase of my life.
I do not expect simply being in Mexico will be a miracle cure. There are many aspects of it that intimidate me. At the same time I have always wanted to live in another country. It's something I want to try while I can. I believe that I will feel better living a life full of walking in beautiful cities overflowing with arts and culture, full of lively people, abundant varieties of unprocessed food. I have done a lot of research. I believe that the climate and culture of Mexico will motivate me to live more enthusiastically than I am able to feel in the U.S. Here I've been in a spiral: I am in pain, I do not want to move, the pain increases. There's very little for me to go outside for! That won't be the case in Mexico. I'm nervous. I expect to continue to take my Tramadol (for 1/3 the price). I may need to find doctors in Mexico & hope we understand each other. (To be honest I have the same problem in the U.S. because my current doctor's office overbooks so much that communications between patient, staff, PAs, & the doctor is abysmal. It remains to be seen what a Mexican medical experience might be, but I'm willing to try. And to repeat, all I'm currently getting from my U.S. doc is a prescription that's over-the-counter in Mexico.)
I could go on endlessly, because I'm excited about this prospective future. It's going to take a lot of energy to get there & I have very little. I want to conserve my energy for the part that excites me (living in Mexico) and that means not putting energy into winding things up in Jax. I look at this almost as a form of death. I don't have the energy to dispatch my possessions. Just like when someone dies, it will have to be done by others. If you want to be involved get in touch.
Better yet just come see me here in Jax soon ;)
Love,
Rob
big.changes.in2025🥰@icloud.com
(copy above & remove 🥰 emoji to email me)
where I hope to spend most of 2026
& I'd love to see you visit me here too!
P.S. One thing I am able to do is put things online. I created a new art gallery site Rartsy.com showing some of the paintungs that need homes; and I've started separate weekly, monthly, and quarterly newsletters.