Problems Solutions Dreams

※ The changes I hope for my life will result in me spending more quality time with friends and family, not less.
Possibilities:
Family comes to Jax soon to select any paintings, antiques, heirlooms, and housewares that they want. This includes a huge 45-star wool flag, a 100-year old book, weird furs, art not by me, ice buckets, barware, glasses galore, silver, china, hardwood furniture, huge mirrors, and on and on. I thought about posting items on main or Close Friends on Insta, or making web listings, but I don't have the energy to do that. (Just like I thought of turning this letter into a specific blog site for me to update family. I get weird ideas, obviously, but this here page is a one-off. I will be posting updates of starting a new life in Mexico several public places, just as I do now. I get trickles of viewers—more on this later.)
Traveling to be together for holidays becomes more frequent. I think as long as Nana is alive gathering in Jax for one holiday, Mother's Day, her birthday, something per year is a sweet idea. We could rent some big oceanfront AirBnB or a villa at Amelia Island if we wanted to stay together. Otherwise I will try to stay with friends when I come. My current thinking is to come to Jax twice a year.
Please visit me in Mexico! I doubt I will have room to put up more than maybe 1 extra person, but AirBnB's are inexpensive (along with most everything else). I would love to show you around the place I don't live yet. Trust me, if/when/once I get there I will be fanatical about experiencing it. If I ever make money (always a big if with me!) I do dream of having a place with extra bedrooms. (See long-term dreams.)
I will have some money to travel. I will be able to visit you where you live. While transportation is on my mind...
※ I hope to keep Nana's old Volvo somewhere.
Maybe at one of your places!
The car runs perfectly. If it were simple I would load it with everything I might need and drive into Mexico. I'm not prepared to do that now, maybe not ever. It's registered in Jax through next May so I'll probably look for places I can park it here. Other options include loaning it to my boyfriend, leaving it with friends in Maine (or anywhere in between). I dream of it being kept in Hattiesburg or anywhere else I might want to frequently visit. This dream may not be practical. I may just have to consider no longer owning any car. I will wait to decide.

※ PAINTINGS. [See Rartsy.com.]
Possibilities:
Pay to store them. The easiest is the one I do not want to do.
Sell / Giveaway / Loan. I do not know any one person with a ton of climate controlled empty space for storage, so at this point I'm only looking at it in terms of putting a few here and there. Friends are interested. Transportation is a problem for the largest ones—just as with some of the furniture in my place. I may put some of the art into estate sale hands along with any furniture and items that aren't claimed. I have A TON of rolled up painted canvases. These could fit in the Volvo, but to where? I suppose they might fit in the storage unit that Nana & I share. I would like to help empty that overpriced space not add more to it; but in the short term I may have to fill it with art.
Walkaway / Trash. This is a possibility I have to consider. There is no dollar value on my paintings given supply and demand. An old high school friend says she believes in my work, believes in me, believes that my work has potential to be marketable. And I said something like: "Fine, if you do it." Well, first I teared up and thanked her. (She said she was interested but I don't think she, or anyone, has the time to take on risky work trying to market art.) If anyone reading this has the time or inclination to market or get in touch with art marketers, PLEASE DO. It's hard to explain, but I talked about how everything is hard for me to focus on and do with my chronic pain... Well with my art it's MUCH WORSE. I am happy to write about and talk about what my art means to me and the process of making it. I do not enjoy at all the business of trying to sell art. If you ask me to my face I will tell you that it has zero intrinsic dollar value. I see most marketing as a kind of scam. But if anyone wants to dabble at selling, please do it with my blessing and take a commission. (There's someone horrible I know who has liked my work in the past. He once purchased another artist's entire catalog & I could reach out to him... but honestly I think I'd rather it be trashed than to have to work with the guy I'm thinking of.) One project idea I've liked for a long time would be to make bags from the painted canvas rolls. I have a couple that a friend made years ago from my work (I have a tote and a small zipper bag). On my long list of things to do is learn how to sew. I can imagine me doing so in Mexico, or more likely finding others to do it for me. That raises the issue of me making money in Mexico, so I'll move to that topic next. Before I leave the subject of my paintings my preferred dream for them is that...
There's room to store them in Hattiesburg OR
Someone who sees this is looking for a meaningful challenge ;) OR
Someone likes an art dealer who's willing to handle them. These are wild dreams. It still raises the problem of transporting them. This art carries the burden of only possessing potential value while taking up very real space.

I expect to rehome as many paintings as I can (whether considered giveaways or loans); store some without renting any additional space; take a handful with me to Mexico; and to walkaway from the rest.

It seems a shame, but it's not a tragedy. Tragic things are happening every day. I am choosing drastic change for my health. When I dropped out of Princeton several paintings were destroyed because I didn't have the mental functioning to claim them. What's different now is me. Back then I only had a few works and I was devastated. I didn't have a lifetime work history of being able to make as much art as I want. I can never reproduce those exact paintings, many that I loved, but if I still had them I'd be wondering what to do with them too. I want to hold onto 2 I still have from Princeton days (3 others I don't need). What's changed is me. Back then I felt that change was something happening to me, forced on me, and I couldn't keep up. Today I'm deliberately choosing what I believe is a better life path.

※ INCOME.
The money from my condo sale will not sustain me forever, even in much-cheaper Mexico. I believe it will provide me time to think.
Possibilities while a tourist:
Online Patrons I will be sharing my life experiences in various formats like I do now. I expect the subject of moving internationally may attract viewers. Of course I have no desire to change my style to be more marketable. (If you've ever found any of my videos and wondered what it's about, I believe that there's no point in making more of what is already selling by the ton. I talk about what I think and feel, with no regard for packaging. "I exist therefore I'm acceptable as I am," is one possible description of my humanist philosophy [humanissome]. I share in an unpolished style that might easily be considered embarrassing as a protest of the idea that performance is superior to being a plain, old, messy human. After my most recent stream I wrote an explanation of why I feel good about it.) International expat videos seem to be selling by the ton; I look forward to making my own version. While my content isn't designed to attract an audience, consistently it seems to find a small number who are interested. I hope the handful of people who support me now will continue to do so. I hope more will join them.
Writing This one is too long-term to count on any time soon, but I wanted to mention here that I have multiple book ideas that I would not object to becoming popular. Ha. I mean, it's true; but no simple matter. I see books as less tarnished by marketing than newer media. I still would not want to be overly involved in the business aspect of it. I do hope to work on multiple books while living in Mexico. I hope to finish one some day. And I hope to sell it to readers in the US.
US Sales I could also legally earn money from sales of paintings and other art products in the US while I was in Mexico. The problem there is that I would not be in the US to ship the products to buyers. Things to work out... Regardless my income is not going to take a hit. It's nothing now, and will only go up. Presuming stock markets still exist I could invest the proceeds from my condo sale and legally earn money there.
Possibilities as a resident:
There are some types of residency that permit me to earn income. I would consider many options at that point, including selling art & art products, offering abstract painting workshops, assisting English-speaking tourists, teaching English. If my life is pleasant I would be willing to do many things to earn a living. My objection to past bad jobs I've worked in the US is that they weren't fully supporting a life that was also bad. The entire reason I want to move is to improve my quality of life. Many jobs would feel acceptable then.
The dream is that, combined, a subsistence job, investment income, and patrons will provide a good life at a lower cost of living while I complete more marketable long-term projects.

I do not see a worse future there than the life I've been having here. I'm not moving solely to save money; I hope to find community. There are accelerated residency options for artists. I can't predict the future, but I would very much like to try building a life in a place that I enjoy.

a list, white text on black background, titled Dream life, with list items Speak more than English, Have access to fresh herbs plentifully growing in walking distance to my kitchen, Walk most places every day, Not feel manipulated & ripped off multiple times each day, Not feel mentally assaulted multiple times each day, Live in mutual emotional safety, Sing often
I made this list November 8, 2024

Love,
Rob
Email: big.changes.in2025🥰icloud.com
change 🥰 for @

P.S. I may not be somewhere with herbs growing outside my door but I bet they'll be affordable. Everything else on that list I feel I can achieve. I am excited when I dream of moving into the modern world: using the metric system, having a woman president, using public transportation, affordable medical care. Besides all that there's so much beauty and culture in Mexico that I look forward to seeing.